"If a man foolishly does wrong to me,
I will return to him my ungrudging love;
the more evil he sends my way,
the more good will I send back;
in so doing goodness will always come to me,
and, if he does not change, evil will always come to him."
The Gospel of Buddha: The Sermon on Abuse
Professor Gaskill writes that the difference between the "foolish man" and the "ungrudging man" is that the latter has overcome selfishness, while the former has not.
Which reminds me of this story:
A young Zen monk asked an aged master about the difference between heaven and hell. "There are no material differences," replied the master, "Both heaven and hell have a big pot of delicious noodles in the middle of a spacious hall, where the size of the pot and the number of people sitting around the pot is exactly the same. The odd thing is that each person is given a pair of yard-long chopsticks with which to eat the noodles. But in hell people are always hungry because no matter how hard they try, they can't get the noodles into their mouths," said the old master.
"Isn't it the same for the people in heaven?' asked the young monk. "No," replied the master. "They can eat in heaven because they each feed the person sitting across the table from them!"
Dr. Gaskill continues, "Our verse teaches us that we have a choice in how we live. If selfishness is our way, then pain, suffering, and evil will fill our lives. But, if we decide to live lives of love and forgiveness, our days will be filled with goodness, peace, and joy."
What I like about this verse is that it reminds me that I have control over my life. Especially if someone "foolishly" does wrong to me, I have a choice to return to him my ungrudging love. (Of course, I always have this choice, it's just easier when it's "foolishly" that wrong has been done and not "maliciously." Though I usually err on the side of judging them "foolish" rather than malicious since I don't know their back story or where they're coming from.)
The second part of the verse is harder for me ~ the more evil he sends my way, the more good will I send back. I haven't quite mastered this one yet... I usually just ignore. Which isn't really "sending good."
The last part... in so doing goodness will always come to me... I think is partly true. But it isn't good to assume that if you're good, only good things will happen to you. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, or people who are trying to be good, and it isn't because they weren't good enough, it's just because that's life. Though, it could be argued that if you're being unselfish (and, in a Christian tradition, living for Christ,) then whatever comes to you can be turned into goodness (through Christ, if you believe in that.)
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God
Romans 8:28
"and, if he does not change, evil will always come to him."
Again, sometimes "bad" or "evil" people, or people who do us harm, don't always have bad things happen to them right away, or even necessarily ever. But it isn't my place to judge who is "evil" and who isn't it, and I don't know what all is happening in people's lives. I like the caveat "if he does not change," because there is always a chance for people to change. But, to those who send out evil, evil will return - whether in this life or the next. They'll be unhappy if they haven't chosen a life of goodness.
Is your life best represented by the "foolish man" or the "ungrudging man"?
... I plead the fifth? Kidding. I think at times I am both. I try to find a balance between being unselfish and still taking care of myself. I make mistakes and I go back and forth... I don't think I'm ever perfectly unselfish, but I try to become less and less focused on myself. I'm sure that more often than I would like I "foolishly do wrong" to others. But I try not to actively send out evil. Which I think makes a difference. And I try to send out ungrudging love and goodness.
Do you return good for evil, and kindness for hate?
I certainly try to! Though this is something I'm imperfect at, I always try to respond with kindness when others attack me or my beliefs. I'm very uncomfortable with arguing (though I do love an intelligent debate, belligerent arguing is grating to me.) I try to send out love and peace, and if people make me angry I try to take deep breaths and hope for the best and respond with peace. I go to therapy and my therapist tells me to recognize the emotions I'm feeling (anger, anxiety, depression, etc) but not to let it define me. Just to recognize it and let it pass.
Which of your behaviors is most contrary to the advice of this verse, and how can you change it so as to conform with this divine principle?
Hmm... probably either not returning ungrudging love, or not sending good back for evil. I'm certainly working on both of these. It just takes mindfulness, I think.